Stinkweed Fed??? Bloody Hell!!!!

[68TriShield]

Well Mr rokkitsci all I asked for was one or two cigars for the repair kit.
What in heavens name compelled you to send Stinkweed fed, dried up Reindeer meat?
And the note? I quickly looked behind me to make sure the rolling pin wasn't coming. :der:

He may be a Mad Scientist but,he's a Mad Scientist that likes cigars. I'll have my Son test the dried up Stinkweed fed meat. He's a Grizzly Adams type.
The cigars,I should investigate myself ;)

thank you George,remind me not to do you any more favors :rolleyes:

[kingcohiba]

oh the picture! lol i can remember my wife picking that picture up and reading it....lmao!

[68TriShield]

yea ha ha :rant:

[Lee Nub]

Yes mine too lol

[cj121]

Nice work both: discretionary use of of cigars is always encouraged:biggrin1: Especially well placed on the pic there:rolleyes::thumb:

[68TriShield]

Nice work both: discretionary use of of cigars is always encouraged:biggrin1: Especially well placed on the pic there:rolleyes::thumb:
Not well placed enough I gather :rolleyes:

[El Catador]

Those thieving picture elves have been at it again!
Pity, as I was hoping to compare the subtle difference in colour and hue between the 'llama' and 'Reindeer' 'Georky' images.

(Whispers) Between you and me and our nan's gatepost, I think they might be identical. Someone should call trading standards and denounce this charlatan for peddling such dangerously combustable tat!
:deadhorse:

[rokkitsci]

Well Mr rokkitsci all I asked for was one or two cigars for the repair kit.
What in heavens name compelled you to send Stinkweed fed, dried up Reindeer meat?
And the note? I quickly looked behind me to make sure the rolling pin wasn't coming. :der:

He may be a Mad Scientist but,he's a Mad Scientist that likes cigars. I'll have my Son test the dried up Stinkweed fed meat. He's a Grizzly Adams type.
The cigars,I should investigate myself ;)

thank you George,remind me not to do you any more favors :rolleyes:

OMG!

Shite(e)! Shite(e)! Shite(e)! Shite(e)! Shite(e)!

Wot with all the excitement appurtenant to the St. Greedimass Holidaze and trying to sort out the Cuban Crafters deal and all, damned if I didn't forget to include instructions for the proper care and feeding of my Special Holidaze Edición Georky.

First off, please, please, please tell me you didn't let your son actually taste the Georky. If he is still safe, then here is the proper procedure which must be followed exactimundo!

Very, very carefully, take your Georky down to your Level 6 Containment Facility (you do have one, don't you?). Place the unopened packet on the specimen table where your remote manipulator can easily access it from all perspectives. Ensure that there are no stray radio waves, ultraviolet sources, loud noises, temperature variations exceeding ± .003176 °Kelvin within a 3 second time span, foul odo(u)rs, small children, mischievous kittens, Spam™, electric bananas, anything liquid, or any pictures of the Queen Mum (especially naked) within 11.694 parsecs of Ground Zero. Verify that all recording, measuring, and detection devices have been recently calibrated and certified. Donning your Environmental Biohazard Suit (note: must be either Tyvek or Kevlar), have your mutant lab assistant check for tears, cracks, or those teensy leetle brown bugs that are so small you can barely see them but when they tickle the hairs on your arms you feel it but then you can't see anything and it drives you fucking crazy.

Moving the remote manipulator ever so slowly, carefully unzip the packet and remove the tiniest fragment of Georky, placing it on the examination table. Bring 'round the cage containing the spotted leopard spitting Turkmenistani tree frog and release him. If he moves towards the Georky, this is a very good sign and chances are good that all the inhabitants of that stinking little village with the weird-ass hyphenated name where you live may be spared complete annihilation. If he moves away from the sample, you have approximately 2 minutes, 31.59 seconds to distance yourself a minimum of 322.06 km. from ground zero, preferably behind at least 2 meters of lead shielding or 7 meters of solid concrete, elsewise you might as well try to and rouse the wife and get in one last "quickie" before the end.

Now, if your male progeny, the fruit of your looms... errr... loins, has already ingested the Georky, then -- in the words of Douglas Adams -- Don't Panic!

Despite indications to the contrary, HE IS NOT (yet) DEAD!

If you have already conducted the memorial service and buried the blighter, then disregard the following. The gendarmes will be calling shortly to arrest you for murder.

Otherwise, just follow this simple procedure:

1. Tilt the little fellow up against the wall so he is propped upside down on his head. If he insists upon falling over, the feets may be nailed to the wall. If you actually like the bloke, super glue may be used instead.

2. Prepare the following concoction in a non-metallic, non-glass, non-plastic, non-wooden, sterilized container: 2 tsps. wolfsbane, a large dollop of low-fat mayonnaise, a tin of anchovies, 1/2 liter of onion tea, one crumbled cookie that your fattest aunt (on your mum's side) makes that taste like she's been curing them in her crotch, scrapings from that green stuff in the back of the fridge that you have no idea what it is, 1 cc of toe jam, 1 cc of navel lint, 1 cc of smegma, 1 cc of anything the dog or cat has hacked up recently, 1 cup ammonia, 1 cup vinegar, and a letter from your last headmaster authorizing you to play with matches.

3. Stir the mixture vigo(u)rously until either your arm aches too much too stir any more or the stench becomes so overpowering it threatens to make you pass out. Your curative is now ready for use. Pour the stinking mass into an enema bag. Seal tightly.

4. Approach your morbid offspring. Pull down (eck-shew-illy [did I pronounce that right?], since the lad is propped topsy-turvy, you would properly have to pull up) his knickers. Next, assuming the laddie doesn't go commando, pull down/up his unders. Move the tip of the enema towards the boy's bum.

The nearer you approach, the more activity you should detect. When the tip makes actual contact with dermal material, there should be energetic squirming. At this point, you may rest assured that within the next several hours, your little prodigy will stop drooling, lose that glassy-eyed look, and may or may not stop farting. YMMV.

[SeanP]

:pound:Is it the meds you are taking or the ones you forgot to take :hmmmm2:

I seriously don't know where you get this stuff from but please, by all means, keep it coming!

[rokkitsci]

:pound:Is it the meds you are taking or the ones you forgot to take :hmmmm2:

I seriously don't know where you get this stuff from but please, by all means, keep it coming!

"Get this stuff?" Wot stuff?

I quite don't understand to what you refer.

And I'll have you know that the anti-rejection drugz for my new replacement brain are working quite nicely now that they have been properly balanced.

Hrmphhhh!

[68TriShield]

Stop farting? My Son? Now that would be a Christmas to remember! :biggrin1:

[satch]

Er, rokky old son, what, exactly goes in your cigars and can I have some?

[nicwing]

May I just say that if anyone from the forum gets Georky and isn't keen I will take it off your hands in an instant, I will even pop over and collect it as I can't get enough of it.

Gimme gimme gimme!!

[daverave999]

Me too. It's very good!

[rokkitsci]

Er, rokky old son, what, exactly goes in your cigars and can I have some?

PM me and we'll see what we can do for you.

[jkim05]

PM me and we'll see what we can do for you.

Don't take the bait.

[El Catador]

Er, rokky old son, what, exactly goes in your cigars and can I have some?

Well, to be 'blunt', I was under the impression that it wasn't so much the ingredients that created the rather unique 'euphoric/erotic' effects in the mind that Reverend Georges 'Reserva' cigars bring about, but rather a combination of the growing 'medium' and the grow location.

I confess the thought of rolling cigars from tobacco grown on Bikini atoll seemed a little 'out there' at first, but the subtle aroma and delicate taste imbued from the the Strontium-90 really adds a piquant richness to the creamy smoke, and, with a half-life of around two thousand years it seems a pity to wait and try and age them. In addition, we must not overlook the brilliant, if somewhat warped, choice of using recycled sump oil as a fertiliser, just look at the 'sheen' it gives the finished article. Inspired!

My only criticism, and it's a minor one at that, is the corner that has been cut by employing substandard rolling girls, or Torcedores as the Cubans call them. I appreciate that, in this day and age, it's hard to find a virgin over the age of sixteen, but why is it that every time I pick up one of George's fine 'stoogies' and run its length beneath my nose inhaling its delicate scent , I'm reminded of the fishing port of Grimsby? (think Baltimore if you're from the good ol' US of goddam A).

At least give the poor lass a flannel, or a wet wipe, my old lady is starting to think I'm carrying on with a fish wife bejezus!

[celsis]

May I just say that if anyone from the forum gets Georky and isn't keen I will take it off your hands in an instant, I will even pop over and collect it as I can't get enough of it.

Gimme gimme gimme!!

I'll second that emotion!!!!!!!!!!!!

Geroge, you should start selling the stuff on line! You'd make the proverbial!!!

[68TriShield]

May I just say that if anyone from the forum gets Georky and isn't keen I will take it off your hands in an instant, I will even pop over and collect it as I can't get enough of it.

Gimme gimme gimme!!
Come to Maryland and it's yours Nic :nod: