Write about BAD cigars!

[Robusto]

If I think about it, I've smoked a few bad cigars over the years.

I think this site is excellent in the way that we express our positive feelings about cigars we have enjoyed. I read everything on here and quietly think about what to try next in the short, medium and long term because of the recommendations we post here.

However, most of what we write boils down to very personal opinion, and I wondered whether there would be a concensus over what we think are bad cigars.

I would dismiss my "naughty boy" behind the bikesheds type early ventures into cigar world. I actually feel great about myself in my teenage years. I was a Class 1 swot at school. Almost butter wouldn't melt.

Behind the good boy facade, I was nicking cigars out of my Dad's office and smoking them in the toilet upstairs. I find it hysterical that I didn't get sniffed out and bollocked - but I got away with it at home with my parents AND in the toilet at my sister's. Come to think of it, I got away with cigar smoking regularly in the toilet of the Ipswich to Liverpool Street train on the way back to boarding school - another place for debauchery and vice, in which cigars featured large.

So when my Dad's cigars featured, there was some quality.

However, if I think about where my main supply of cigars came from from about the age of thirteen, it was from certain newsagents that displayed Castellas in their windows. I managed to go in and buy five Castellas early in my teenage years, and I found it exciting and arousing because it was forbidden and adult in nature. (I think I was fifteen before I went in for my first Mayfair, and - Jeez - what a man I felt after that!).

So what was the first bad cigar?

Well, it wasn't the ubiquitous Castellas of the 1970s.

It was...

HAMLET.

http://www.mysmokingshop.co.uk/newShop/images/products/452__big.jpg

How the hell did I smoke one of those? I can't remember. I don't think I'd have bought one. I think it was probably at the age of 16 or 17 when I would have been out on the demon drink in the post-pube rush to corruption that a mate would have handed me one in a pub.

I've probably smoked no more that three of those cigars in my life, but each time was execrable. The taste is vile, in my opinion, and I remember they get bloody hot very quickly and burn your tongue. I should have been put off by the smell alone.

What's amazing is that some people believe that Hamlet is the only cigar there is. That's their only experience of a cigar!

I swear to God that if I were ever to be caught short and wanted a smoke and the only cigar available on a long journey in, say, a petrol station was a Hamlet...

...I'd buy a packet of Marlboros.

Yes - I really do think Hamlet is that crap!


I've only got one other Cigar Of Shame and that's a cigar that should perhaps know better.

GUANTANAMERA

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1438/1485451673_11cbd54228.jpg

I get given quite a lot of these at functions where my band plays, and I have three guitarist friends who like the guitar design on the lid but who don't smoke cigars. Who do we know who smokes cigars? Bryan!

These cigars come in a transparent plastic tube. Already a bit rubbish, then, before lighting up.

I keep some of these in the drawer beneath my car seat in case I'm off playing somewhere and have run out of decent smokes. I am NEVER desperate to have a smoke, but I know I always have some of these available if I run out.

The reason why I wrote that these cigars should have known better is because they seem to be made of reasonable tobacco... BUT they taste as if they have additives in them like cigarettes. I suspect that is the case because they burn rapidly.

They taste artificial. Terrible. They really do!

Maybe it's me, but I know what a good Cuban or NC cigar tastes like on the taste-buds. Even in their great variety, Cubans deliver some core taste of quality that makes them stand out.

Guantanameras are devoid of positive points taste-wise. You could pose with one, but it would be better not to light it.


So if I could avoid two cigars, I would avoid Hamlet and Guantanamera cigars.

I'd be interested to know other people's thoughts on this topic. It's all subjective, but it's fun.

Right. Now I can go back and perve at the pictures of boxes of cigars that COIV has posted a link to. :cowboyic9::smoke::41:

[Willie1]

When I think about cigars that I hate the taste of, I think that alot of cigar smokers out there would have the same or similar brands in mind :)

Castella, Hamlet, Panama, Henri Wintermans, old port, etc, to which I wholeheartedly recommend them to be given to the nearest bin, but that's just my own views and tastes :)

Willie :smoke:

[Robusto]

Henri Wintermans.
I'd forgotten appalling trips on those! :biggrin1:

[Willie1]

lol, I used to get them from time to time and I've refused to smoke them since I've started smoking the good quality stogies, and I'm 100% that I'm sticking to premuim stogies :)

A proper cigar is a million times better than having to smoke something that seemsmore like cardboard, than a cigar of any kind :) lol

Willie :849:

[Deano]

I had a H Upmann recently that I really disliked, can't remember what it was, but I suspect I was just having an off day,

[Robusto]

The gigging musos in my area have a very good and active network. Pros and semi-pros alike.

Many of us know each other because we see each other's bands and also dep with other bands when we're free. (Dep means sit in and play for the real band member who cannot make a particular gig).

We do each other favours like lend PA to each other, or even instruments.

It's a known amongst the webbers hereabouts that if I help someone's kid out for a piano exam, or with a song to sing for a Uni drama course audition, or lend a spare keyboard to someone in another band, then all I ask for is a good Havana for the favour. I usually say go to a big Tesco, look at the tubed cigars, get me one with Havana on the tube.

People usually get me a couple, or one plus booze. Some say they don't want me to die, but I say a good cigar is EXACTLY the way to keep me happy!

Looking at an earlier post, it came back to me that on one lend of a keyboard for a festival, a guy's mum drove him back to my house with an electric piano. The mother said she didn't know what to get cigar-wise, so she'd bought a packet of these.

Panama.

Excuse me, but that crap went straight in the kitchen bin when they left, and I was really pissed off!

[Willie1]

Oh well, at least the lady's heart was in the right place, but at the same time she probably thought that any old pack of cigars would do :rolleyes:

This reminds me of a few weeks back when I had just moved back with my mum and step-dad, into our own house again :) lol

My mum had been to the Tesco store on the other side of town and had got me a pack of Henri Wintermans slim pantellas... :confused:... I said to my mum, "Come on, surely they had better cigars than these.... oh wait a second, I forgot that it's tescos we're talking about" :) lol, I didn't like to sound ungrateful or anything, but my mum knew what I meant because she knows only too well what cigars I prefer :smoke:

Needless to say, I smoked them anyways because I was out of stogies at the time :) lol, and so they a stop gap at least untill I could place an order with Sir Monte :)

I now have a policy at home, where if someone in the family suggests getting me a pack of cigars from tescos or any supermarket again, I'll say to them to just give me the cash value of the pack of cigars instead, so that I can put it towards getting a box of PROPER cigars, instead of that mini-me cardboard cutout crap :) lol

Warning, incoming mini rant:-

I don't know about you guys, but I've come to the conclusion that those damn cigar wannabes like Hamlet, Castella/Classic, Panama, Henri Wintermans, etc, are the reason why these numbskull anti-smoking campaigning industry and all these other uneducated twits in Gov't, all tar premium cigars to the same brush as those tobacco wasteing, chemical cocktail sticks known as cigarettes.

I say ban all cigarettes and promote the smoking of premium cigars instead :smoke:

Willie :849:

[Robusto]

I say ban all cigarettes and promote the smoking of premium cigars instead

Absolutely, Willie!

There used to be a Pipe and Cigar Club for MPs at the Houses of Parliament. I imagine there still is.

Do they fight for this cause?
Do they??? :smoke:

[Willie1]

I'm not even gonna go there, otherwise I'll wind up going into a rant :) lol

Willie :smoke:

[Robusto]

You know something?

I smoked one of those Guantanameras hidden under my driver's seat on the way home. Had to add an extra ten miles to my journey to accommodate it.

I actually enjoyed it - and now I'm feeling guilty because I dissed those cigars above.

Cigars do taste different sometimes, don't they? :41:

[Willie1]

Indeed they can, I find that each cigar is like meeting a random person in the street, they all have their good and bad points and no 2 cigars are alike, by that I mean that each cigar will burn or taste differently to some extent or another, than the previous one, even if it's the same brand, blend and size :)

Another thing that makes a difference as to how much one enjoys a cigar, is how the day is going or has been for that individual, if it's been a good day, a good cigar is enjoyed all the more, and if it's been a shitty day, then a favourite cigar just doesn't seem to taste as good and so the overall enjoyment just isn't there :)

Does that make any sense? :)

Willie :smoke:

[Robusto]

Makes absolute sense, mate.
I agree completely. :cowboyic9:

[william mcmanus]

i feel cigars are like whiskey no such thing as a bad one.just some better than others:41:

[Luckyseven]

A well meaning friend of mine was going on a cruise and stopping off at Gibraltar. Knowing the good prices there for cigars, and the huge range, I said to him: Pick me up some cigars and I will see you right when you come back. Well, this well meaning friend brought me back 5 packs of King Edward Imperials. I could not say anything when he brought them back other than to just take them and smile.
I did try one one evening with my scotch. But put it down and left it. But may I just say, they are enough to put you off cigars for life. The only good thing I can say about them is that they give off tonnes of smoke. Another good thing about them is that you can put them in your humidor, so that if someone wants a cigar from your humidor, you can always invite them to check them out. Unfortunately they always turn their attention to my Cubans!

[L_DOG]

El Credito's. I like non cubans but these were a disaster! No need for re-lighting and no draw problems but too much tobacco taste and liquerice, which I like but wasn't quite right in flavour. Just my 2p!

Oh yeah +1 on the Hamlets!

[Nightwingvyse]

I totally agree with the Guantanamera's.

My mum's partner is a casual smoker (smokes VERY rarely). He went to Cuba a few years ago and brought back a few of these awful things. When he found that i smoked cigars, he gave me one. I'd already smoked one or two of this brand before. If i was a rude person, i would have said just how low they are in world cigar quality, but held my tongue and made it the very next cigar i planned to smoke. Still wasn't quick enough though, i had to re-season my humidor due to the nahahasty smell it left in there.....

[James811]

A Guantanamera was the first Cuban I had (about 4 months ago) and I enjoyed it. But I'm sure if I had another one now I wouldn't be so impressed

[Detroit_Waves]

First off, Luckyseven....What a revival! Over 3 years! Now that is some serious back reading! Well done to you!

I had practically forgot that Guantanamera's even existed. Although I agree with all the views expressed here, I am however, in debt to the Guantanamera brand.

Back about 8 years or so ago, my parents had gone away for a few weeks and I had the house to myself. Now I wasnt one for throwing parties, however, me and a couple of friends had just started playing poker. After watching one two many films, we decided to have a poker night. What did we need for a poker night? Well cards, chips, beer and cigars!! We had all but the cigars. So we went to a little tobacco shop and asked about some cigars, and the chap pulled out a box of 5 of these. We snapped them up. I remember haha, we lit them on the oven hob, because we didnt have a ligher, and we smoked those things like we owned the world! The next morning, I was coughing my lungs up, and my whole mouth tasted horrid. I have never had another one since.

Now although it took me a while after this to start on the right track with cigars, there was something that caused me to take an interest more in cigars from this point, and thats when I started reading, and finally smoking some of the brands we all enjoy today. So yes, a terrible cigar...without it, I may possible not be here today talking to all you fine gents.

[Andy B]

Of the bad ones I have smoked over the years, Garcia y Vega and Schimmelpenninck come to mind. The Garcia y Vegas from my teen years and the Schimmelpenninck's later in life. Awful smokes!!

[nev coss]

anyone remember Manikin cigars? once smelled never forgotten, slim panatellas, King Edwards , which left a sweet taste on your lips for ages after, White Owl, Old Port , Hamlet Panatellas,Grandee cigars , if you were in a loud pup and asked for one you could get handed a brandy, yes smoked them all:849:

[Gary]

Macanudo, really poor, so bland and dull, I bought a box in NY on the back of a CA recommendation, smoked like 2 or 3 then spent the next year or two trying to practically give them away.

[Reaver2145]

Ohh where to being as its been months since i posted on here ill start at the beginning (ps my spelling and grammar is appalling thanks for noticing)

Lets see villiger tubos is where i began with cigars they are pretty bad but still i go back to them every few months just for the memory

Next would be the good old guantanamo crystals as discribed in the first post but ive always found them to be the bottom of the bottom barrel with no redeeming quality the worst part is i keep getting gifted them by my friends who goto cuba even after i ask for just a single bolivar or partagas ill even settle for a box of glass top cohibas but no.

H.Upmann Mag 50s are also pretty bad imo out of a good 15 of a 25 box ive never had a good flavourful one the construction is great the draw and aroma is great but theres no taste.

Cohiba lanceros seem to have consistent consistency issues unless your lucky enough to know a non smoking diplomat that will give you his box of "special ones" they get from time to time.

Punch margaritas looked good but all 10 ive had so far have had a really REALLY tight draw which i a damn shame.

And they are the ones i remember :frown:

[Luckyseven]

Yes, I agree. Punch. Had a box of half coronas. Big name but very mixed box of sticks. Sometimes you get a beauty, or sometimes you get a section in the cigar where it is just perfect and that in itself makes it worth it. But other times you are sucking your mouth out and wrecking your palette on something that is too tight, or watching with amazement as the thing starts to fall apart halfway through like it has just exploded inside. Best thing to do with a tight cigar is just abandon it and move on to the next cigar.
As for the Punch margaritas, yes I agree. They started off with a hit, but been in the humidor for a year now and are turning hard to the touch, and tasting floral.

As for H Upmann some of those major's can a mixed bag. I Had one last month that was too tight. When I was next at the cigar shop, I mentioned it. The guy in the shop that sold them to me, says: "What, you did not like the H Upmann Major cigar? hey, these are the best cigars in the world", He makes me feel like it is me that caused the thing to be too tight, or to explode, or like I am a slob who does not understand. Makes me feel like it is me who is wrong. Am i a professional complainer or something?
The guy in shop says: These are the best cigars in the world, look it says "hand Made" Look it says on the box, he says and looks at me like I need to get my head examined.

Some of these shop sellers, they don’t even smoke cigars. I don’t cause them to explode, I just suck on the things.
:rolleyes:

[baccybert]

I totally agree, Hamlets are woeful and then some. I would also liken smoking Wintermans to chewing peppercorns. Another cigar that in truth is utter cardboard but hold sentimental value of rebellious youth and acting like Al Capone is the Agio Half Corona, always will return to them for the nostalgia

[L_DOG]

Another one for me to add is the Saint Luis Rey Regios. What a pile! One dimensional and crap draw, so bad I looked like a smoking fish! I know I mentioned this cigar being not that great in a previous thread, but it needed to be mentioned again in this! Stick to the SLR churchill I say!

[SmokeyDave]

I'm surprised on the SLR Regios, one of my favourite cheaper smokes, I find them similar in strength to a Party SDN4.
I have 14 left from a box of 25 sat in the wine cooler, this may prompt me for a revisit!

Duff smoke recently was a Rafael Gonzales Corona Extra, plain, one dimensional and just dull.

[Reaver2145]

Punch Petite Punch - Got myself another one from a different box and yet again its plugged to all hell its strange these used to be one of my go to sticks but i wont buy them after the last 6 in a row have been plugged

[spirit_of_will]

Punch Petite Punch - Got myself another one from a different box and yet again its plugged to all hell its strange these used to be one of my go to sticks but i wont buy them after the last 6 in a row have been plugged

WOW different box and still the same issues. That is a bit of a kick in the tits...

[L_DOG]

I'm surprised on the SLR Regios, one of my favourite cheaper smokes, I find them similar in strength to a Party SDN4.

I may have just had a bad apple, who knows! I might give another a try if I am brave enough!

[Professor Twain]

Over the past 6 years I have evolved toward smoking almost all Cuban cigars. But lots of my friends insist I'm just biased. Every once in a while I try a non Cuban, and almost all the time I'm disappointed. With the exception of some of the Padrons, Fuentes, Tatuaje, I rarely find anything worth smoking.

My last BAD cigar was a Diamond Crown Julius Caeser (spelled that way because named after a member of the maker's family). The pyramid version was just rated as #25 by Cigar Aficionado. I bought a robusto, beautiful band, but horrible smoke. Tasted of tin and ash, no redeeming flavors.

[Reaver2145]

lewis martinez - Ive suggested them to people as a cheap NC cigar and ive had several packs of 5 that i use as a fishing/shooting cigar that have been ok not complex but a mild enjoyable smoke right up untill i got a new box of them a few days ago they have gone right off the ball even though they are nothing above mild all 5 smelled like dung and tasted like cardboard and a low quality cardboard at that wont be buying more of them thats for sure.

[Cable]

I have to say despite only really just starting to appraciate cigars now, down the years i have experimented with a few really bad ones but without the knowledge i have now, in fairness 15 years ago there was no internet like we have today so no forums like this to get advice from, it was not easy to know good cigars from the bad if you didnt know anyone actually smoked a proper Cuban or the like. Anyway, my first cigars where like you have all said, those vile and nasty Hamlets, which every time i smoked tasted dreadfull and used to get really hot quickly, i thought this was the norm lol. After have a few of these a year, couple for Birthdays and the traditional Xmas cigar with the old man, i moved onto Cafe Creme, jesus they were even worse. I suppose what i thought was smart at the time was the nice little tin they came in. To cap all this off, i ever used to know that you are not supposed to inhale the smoke either, how stupid do i feel. I guess in a funny way this has been good for me as im now starting to appreciate a good cigar:smile: