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  • Pro tips

    I'm something of a newbie with the briar. But there must be a lot of "pro tips" humourous or otherwise.

    1. When cleaning the stem, do not blow through stem near your ashtray. Unless you like your desk accessories grey.

    1b. When cleaning the stem, do not suck through the stem until good and cleaned. Unless you like chewy burnt mini-chunks.

    2. Remember your pipe when putting on a bag, coat, rucksack, hat (or gasmask?!) - it does stick out of your face and will get caught.

    2b. Remember your pipe near doors. You surely value your teeth and/or pipe.

    3. If bearded, be careful lighting a baby corn cob or a curved stem pipe. Burnt beard isn't a good aroma or look.

    4. Fold your pipe knife before putting it in your pocket.

    5. If using a gas pipe lighter, adjust the flame and light across the bowl, not towards your own nose.

    6. Try not to flick used matches in the direction of the ashtray unless you're certain a miss will not cause a fire, however hilarious.

    7. If winded, remove pipe from mouth, a sudden deep inhalation will have a surprisingly "robust" effect.

    8. Smoking a pipe makes you look distinguished, awesome, and wise. Expect questions, some compliments and the occasional philosophical conundrum.

    9. Taking your church warden to work and leaving it across the top of your keyboard will keep people from "borrowing" your computer. Not many in their right mind will intentionally mess with a wizard's stuff.

    10. Pipe smoke is an ice breaker, anyone with even vaguely good memories of relatives who smoked a pipe will be pleased and happier to talk.

    11. If you have a certain look about you, your mother will be very pleased that years of vaguely serious joshing about pipe smoking will have paid off.

    12. Walking a country road, dressed in green, wearing a proper hat, you can offer directions by pointing with the stem, with absolute authority you're giving good information, even without a map or a clue.

    13. Horses, from a distance, quite like pipe smokers.

    14. Smoke a falcon and be a bit closer to Han Solo.

    ?~~~~?~~~~?~~~~?~~~~?

    Cigars are vegetarian, we should all remember that. We're *being* healthy!
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