Tweet
That dry sense of humo(u)r, and the penchant for dressing up as old ladies... no wonder I love you blokes so much.
Anyways, so that crslaytor lad from London town finally gets around to posting me his end of the Sticky-Sticky exchange and I open his parcel only to find some very lovey and generous stoogies! A pair of nice, long Cohibas, a D4, a handsome Sancho Panza torpedo, others, even a pair of excellent NC's: a Sopranos robusto and a yummy Oliva V robusto. I mean... this bloke has really gone all out here.
I'm immediately beginning to feel badly that I only sent him a couple of still-wet sticks that had fallen on the floor when I was rearranging my many humidorii and that the dog had peed on. But I figured: WTF does he know about NC's? He'll probably think they're supposed to taste like that.
But I digress.
Whilst admiring this bountiful haul, I almost overlook these two teensy weensy, minuscule, about toothpick-size things that look like see-gars. Only smaller. I pulls out me handy-dandy NASA Sooper Sekrit Electron Reversing Microsopic Spyglass and Combination Tea Bag Holder to further inspect these sub miniature smokes and find to my utter amazement that they are actual Coobin Stogies, bearing no less the venerable RyJ emblazonature. Remarkable!
Being a rokkit scientist and just a bit OCD, I must needs look up these wee smokes to record their pertinent details in my stogie database. Only, except I am unable to find anything RyJ with characteristics approaching the length (rather, lack thereof) and girth (again, lack thereof) of these two living, breathing creatures confronting me.
"Aha!" sez I. Being a rokkit scientist of exceptional deductive reasoning ability (as well as being devilishly handsome), I form a plan of diabolical proportions to ascertain the information which I seek: I shall PM crslaytor and ask him WTF they are.
Which I do. And he replies he hasn't the foggiest.
???
However, he adds: "here are two photos if thats gonna give u some idea about em." and includes these two itty-bitty fotos:
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
"... gonna give u some idea..."
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
Ghodz, the kid is killing me. I wipe the tears from me eyes and pop a percocet to ease the pain in me side from larfing so hard.
Gonna give u, indeed. Snork!
And then it strikes me!
'Old on, 'old on. Wot if this lad wasn't joking? Wot if he's really dumb as a rock and sent me those pix on accounta he really didn't know what kind of RyJ's they were? I mean, just because it says "Puritos" in letters big enough to knock the eybulbs right out of your face, mebbe he thought Puritos was Cuban for "pure" er sump'n. I could be dealing with a psychopathic personality here. And the sumbitch knows where I live!
Okay, okay. What to do? I tells meself not to panic: "Self, don't panic." Immediately I feels better since I know I can always trust my own advice. Obviously, there is but one solution.
I must needs immediately relocate to Reykjavik which does not hono(u)r extradition demands from either the UK or the US.
And that's why I'm posting this story, mates, to tell you that I will be off the air for awhile until I get settled in Merrye Olde Icelande with a new ISP.
But I do so loathe lutefisk!
Anyways, so that crslaytor lad from London town finally gets around to posting me his end of the Sticky-Sticky exchange and I open his parcel only to find some very lovey and generous stoogies! A pair of nice, long Cohibas, a D4, a handsome Sancho Panza torpedo, others, even a pair of excellent NC's: a Sopranos robusto and a yummy Oliva V robusto. I mean... this bloke has really gone all out here.
I'm immediately beginning to feel badly that I only sent him a couple of still-wet sticks that had fallen on the floor when I was rearranging my many humidorii and that the dog had peed on. But I figured: WTF does he know about NC's? He'll probably think they're supposed to taste like that.
But I digress.
Whilst admiring this bountiful haul, I almost overlook these two teensy weensy, minuscule, about toothpick-size things that look like see-gars. Only smaller. I pulls out me handy-dandy NASA Sooper Sekrit Electron Reversing Microsopic Spyglass and Combination Tea Bag Holder to further inspect these sub miniature smokes and find to my utter amazement that they are actual Coobin Stogies, bearing no less the venerable RyJ emblazonature. Remarkable!
Being a rokkit scientist and just a bit OCD, I must needs look up these wee smokes to record their pertinent details in my stogie database. Only, except I am unable to find anything RyJ with characteristics approaching the length (rather, lack thereof) and girth (again, lack thereof) of these two living, breathing creatures confronting me.
"Aha!" sez I. Being a rokkit scientist of exceptional deductive reasoning ability (as well as being devilishly handsome), I form a plan of diabolical proportions to ascertain the information which I seek: I shall PM crslaytor and ask him WTF they are.
Which I do. And he replies he hasn't the foggiest.
???
However, he adds: "here are two photos if thats gonna give u some idea about em." and includes these two itty-bitty fotos:
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
"... gonna give u some idea..."
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
Ghodz, the kid is killing me. I wipe the tears from me eyes and pop a percocet to ease the pain in me side from larfing so hard.
Gonna give u, indeed. Snork!
And then it strikes me!
'Old on, 'old on. Wot if this lad wasn't joking? Wot if he's really dumb as a rock and sent me those pix on accounta he really didn't know what kind of RyJ's they were? I mean, just because it says "Puritos" in letters big enough to knock the eybulbs right out of your face, mebbe he thought Puritos was Cuban for "pure" er sump'n. I could be dealing with a psychopathic personality here. And the sumbitch knows where I live!
Okay, okay. What to do? I tells meself not to panic: "Self, don't panic." Immediately I feels better since I know I can always trust my own advice. Obviously, there is but one solution.
I must needs immediately relocate to Reykjavik which does not hono(u)r extradition demands from either the UK or the US.
And that's why I'm posting this story, mates, to tell you that I will be off the air for awhile until I get settled in Merrye Olde Icelande with a new ISP.
But I do so loathe lutefisk!
Comment