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rokkitsci
16-04-2010, 11:10 AM
Come on, man up, admit it. Which one o' you blokes did this to me?

http://www.ukcigarforums.com/picture.php?albumid=153&pictureid=1878

What part of "I have more stogies than I do stogie storage space" do you not understand? What have I ever done to you to make you hate me so? Alls I ever did was make fun of the way you talk and spe(u)el (okay, and maybe the bit about the bad teeth [and also possibly the propensity for dressing up as old women {and p'raps even the obsession with the Royal Family}]).

And, as if bombing me wasn't enough, you don't have the temerity to own up to it; you have to do it anonymously? No return address. No note. No incriminating pictures. Only a chicken scratch on the customs form.

Welp, let me tell you, my "friend," although that indecipherable signature may well decrypt as "B. Mussolini," it matters not, because you have chosen to target the wrong fucking bloke!

I have means, y'know. Even as we speak (type/read), I have submitted your fragmentary evidential debris for analysis to the crack NASA Sooper-Sekrit "We Can Track a Gnat's Fart" Sleuthing Squad and Combination Fall of Rome Mime Troupe. Using state-of-the-art fingerprint detection methods, handwriting analysis, and techniques which -- if I even intimated, would necessitate the destruction of an entire village in Djibouti -- are even able to deduce information from things that don't exist, I will soon have not only your full identity, but your family tree (back to when your family was still climbing trees), what you et for breakfast, and where you hide your llama porn.

So, best to save you and your family all the public exposure and embarrassment and come clean here amongst your BOTL's who will undoubtedly offer you high fives, encouraging missives of congratulations, and sycophantic messages of "Nice bombing," "Good show," "Stout fellow," and "There's one up the arse, eh?"

Okay. So. I'm waiting.................

crslaytor
16-04-2010, 11:27 AM
oh gosh!!!
I swear to God/the holly cow and everyone else.. IT WAS NOT ME ! :angel:

Pandyboy
16-04-2010, 12:17 PM
I hope you catch him/her!!!!

celsis
16-04-2010, 12:21 PM
The sig is M MacKinnon, believe it or not! Just a wee thank you for a favour done!

Deano
16-04-2010, 12:22 PM
Lovely bomb there. Wasn't meeee!

Big J
16-04-2010, 02:07 PM
Nice bomb!:biggrin1:

rokkitsci
16-04-2010, 02:11 PM
celsis, old goat custard, this is how your mum taught you to thank a stranger who does you a wee favour? By tormenting him? By causing him to endure a tongue lashing from the wife ("What? More fucking stinky cigars?!")? I'm sure I told you not to feel obligated, that it was my pleasure to be able to help you out and at the same time reduce the agglomeration in my "Man Cave." I see the Royal Mail identification on the packet and hope against hope that it might be a tea bag or some scones or even flavoured glow-in-the-dark condoms, but noooooo....... It's more of those things that I already don't have room for the ones I have of which to say nothing of those arriving from distant exotic places to augment the overflow. Och, laddie! What were you thinking? Now, if you'd wanted to be a grateful chappie, you'd have sent along a wee 7-drawer, 400 stick capacity humidor! But I suppose the gentlemanly thing to do would be to thank you for your thoughtfulness (they are, after all, some primo stogies) even though I'll probably end up shredding the damn things and mixing them into the dog's chow.


The sig is M MacKinnon, believe it or not! Just a wee thank you for a favour done!

tippexx
16-04-2010, 02:19 PM
The sig is M MacKinnon, believe it or not! Just a wee thank you for a favour done!


Nicely done Celsis .... nicely done!

eggopp
16-04-2010, 02:40 PM
yes nicely bombed and its blown some space into his humi's :mad:

Simon Bolivar
17-04-2010, 08:27 PM
Classy bomb, gracelessly accepted:der:

jdawg
17-04-2010, 08:55 PM
nice bombing there Celsis!

Simon-JG-hr
17-04-2010, 08:57 PM
Nice work Celsis! A handy little bombing raid on an enemy who frequently uses aggressive air tactics... The mad scientist must not be allowed to gain air supremacy without stern resistance.

:plane:

skyhigh
17-04-2010, 09:20 PM
You feckin show the Rokkit man Celsis, we limeys can fight too.:boink:

skins
17-04-2010, 10:05 PM
Classy bomb, gracelessly accepted:der:

Irony meter on the blink?

Maxi-J
17-04-2010, 10:49 PM
Ooo - Royal Coronas! :popcorn:

Lionhound
18-04-2010, 12:23 AM
celsis, old goat custard, this is how your mum taught you to thank a stranger who does you a wee favour? By tormenting him? By causing him to endure a tongue lashing from the wife ("What? More fucking stinky cigars?!")? I'm sure I told you not to feel obligated, that it was my pleasure to be able to help you out and at the same time reduce the agglomeration in my "Man Cave." I see the Royal Mail identification on the packet and hope against hope that it might be a tea bag or some scones or even flavoured glow-in-the-dark condoms, but noooooo....... It's more of those things that I already don't have room for the ones I have of which to say nothing of those arriving from distant exotic places to augment the overflow. Och, laddie! What were you thinking? Now, if you'd wanted to be a grateful chappie, you'd have sent along a wee 7-drawer, 400 stick capacity humidor! But I suppose the gentlemanly thing to do would be to thank you for your thoughtfulness (they are, after all, some primo stogies) even though I'll probably end up shredding the damn things and mixing them into the dog's chow.

Rookkit, Rokkit, Rokkit, my old friend you've got us British Islander type chaps alll wrong!!! We've all worked out your dark secret, so no need to feel ashamed and keep up the pretence any more. Its no shame to admit that you're not really a highly intelligent, if slightly eccentric, and (of course) devilishly handsome sooper dooper NASA top sekkritt rokkit scientist. We all know that in reality you are just a simple country boy busy all day interfering with....oops, sorry, taking care of your llama herd in the backwoods and bartering fleeces etc for the odd stogie.
What we chaps do find offensive is your constant protestation that you are short of humi space for storage. Its common knowledge this side of the pond that the national pass time for all you 'Merican type country chaps is sitting on your porches in the sun on your rocking chairs whittling. As such, surely instead of complaining you would be better employed selecting from one of the nice mature trees on your homestead, chopping it down and getting yourself settled on the stoop in your chair and get yourself down to whittlin' it into a nice ol homemade rustic humi jus like your pappy an' grandpappy probably did before you. That way you would surely solve your storage worries and be ready for some nice bombs from us ever generous chaps over here.
Hope this solves your dilemma and remember, once you get it down to a fine art, don't feel embarrassed about sending me one of your efforts over to use (I've only got a 30 size one just now). :D :D :D

Nice bomb Celsis, to a deserving recipient.

jdawg
18-04-2010, 02:16 AM
Nice one Lionhound! LOL

Us country folk do sure like to whittle, right Rokk?

68TriShield
18-04-2010, 01:44 PM
me.

crisdean
18-04-2010, 03:24 PM
Well what's wrong with those cigars or am I missing the point here? Why complain. They look decent or is this guy a non smoker?

Scratching me heeeeeed.

moppy
18-04-2010, 05:52 PM
Well what's wrong with those cigars or am I missing the point here? Why complain. They look decent or is this guy a non smoker?

Scratching me heeeeeed.
Hes a leetle crazy.

Simon Bolivar
18-04-2010, 08:38 PM
No, just think he doth protest too much, even for irony:41:

rokkitsci
20-04-2010, 02:00 PM
Well what's wrong with those cigars or am I missing the point here? Why complain. They look decent or is this guy a non smoker?

Scratching me heeeeeed.

Keep forgetting some of you n00bs don't understand either my Yank humo(u)r nor have read enough of my posties to know that I am just a wee bit eccentric.

Eckshuelly (did I pronounce that correctly?), I am very humbly appreciative of Sir Celsis'ses's most excellent bombation, christine, old frog. I was trying to sound sarcastical whilst conveying the fact that I am truly flattered by his completely unnecessary gratuity.

Ermmm... just asking for a friend, you understand, but why on ghodz grene erdth would I be an active participant on a fooking SEEGAR forum if I were an non-smooker?

Simon-JG-hr
20-04-2010, 02:13 PM
Why indeed...?

Troll... :boink:

Distinctly average CIA operative (what other kind is there?) working against the Cubans... :spy:

Internet dueller... :fencing:

Attention seeking drama queen... :drama:

I've seen them all (and many more besides). :rolleyes: