What makes one a gentleman?

[Juniortubed]

It was once the case that a man could only be described as a gentleman if he was of a certain social status or wealth. This no longer being the case, what is it that makes the modern day man a gentleman?

For me I think the phrase that bests sums it up is "A gentleman is a man who makes a conscious effort to be a gentleman."

My interpretation of this is that a gentleman is someone who goes out of his way to do things that others may not bother to do. For example he goes out of his way to be polite and courteous, and has a good grasp of social etiquette.

I consider it a great compliment when someone calls me a gentleman, but what does it mean to you? I'm interested to hear your thoughts.

JT

[PoohBore]

For me it is simply a question of manners. Please and thankyou at the appropriate times, enjoying healthy debate without resorting to rude or aggressive behaviour, holding doors for people, giving up your seat for someone who needs it more than you etc etc.

[Robusto]

Pressed shirts with appropriate buttons and the ability to keep one's domestic staff in order. At ease chatting hedgerows to the groundsmen.

[nicwing]

Wearing a hat in town helps.
Never wear brown in town (shoes).
Opening doors for others.
Eating Gentlemen's relish with a cup of Lapsang Souchong in a china cup.



If in doubt I find this to be invaluable: http://www.thechap.net/content/secti...sto/index.html (in particular I would draw your attention to point 2)

Listen up!!!

[JOAO LA PEZ]

Treating everyone with the respect and common decency, something sadly lacking today.

[bambini]

Tweed.

[tippexx]

A gentleman is someone who can discuss anything and everything with anyone .... and give offense to none.

[kshazzy]

Corduroys + polo

[shooting-glasses]

being a vip member here = http://www.majingos.net/

[Puff Scotty]

Having the right to beat my servants & get away with it,,,,,,

[Big_T_UK]

Good hygiene is a must. Don't just use a bar of soap, but do scrub yourself. Make sure ears have no wax in them and that privates and facial hair are clean and at least trimmed nicely. When applying deodorant or cologne, don't use a lot. Also, make sure you don't use too much hair gel (it's sticky).

Pay attention to how you look. Wear clothes that fit your body well, eliminate flashy clothing and avoid fashion "faux pas" (i.e. baseball hats cocked slightly to the side). A simpler wardrobe will keep the emphasis on you, not your clothes, which will change your outlook. Get regular haircuts.

A true gentleman is polite to everyone, in action and words. Always be aware of how you can help people. Wait an extra few seconds to hold the door for the person behind you. Offer to help an old or pregnant person get their grocery bags to the car. You don't have to be paranoid or risk killing yourself (i.e if you've got a precarious grip on something heavy, don't open the door for someone) but respect is paramount. Even if someone is being stupid, be polite and respectful.

Be prepared to ask questions or make statements of courtesy, like "may I help you?", or "let me get that for you", or "I'll take care of that".

Don't swear. Ever. Don't speak of vulgar matter. If it's too difficult to stop cursing all-together, tone it down a lot.

Don't stare at and ogle women or say anything degrading to or about them.

In public, don't: fart, belch, speak too loudly, be overly demanding/offensive, or drink heavily. A gentleman is always in control of himself, body and mind.

Give girls a little extra respect. Don't be obsequious, but neofeminism has kind of gotten rid of some basic politeness that they'll appreciate, such as opening car/building doors, etc. Don't put every girl on a pedestal (we're all human), but they'll really appreciate it if you do them favors, like giving up your seat on the bus even though they're not carrying anything heavy.

Don't talk about yourself much. On the other hand, girls like to know a little bit about you so they can understand what you are talking about sometimes. In addition to making you a much more desirable conversationalist, it will make you seem more mysterious to not share too much, which many women find attractive. Get a basic idea of what's going on in music, sports, and politics.

Learn to either avoid politics and religion until you know someone better, and learn how to be neutral if someone else brings it up. A simple shrug will do wonders. A gentleman doesn't make other people uncomfortable.

Pay attention to the fact that the world is more threatening for girls: they're automatically targets at night or in bad neighborhoods. Walk her to her door (or car) if at all possible. It doesn't matter how strong she actually is, if you're a girl people will go at you first, whereas by virtue of being male you're safer. If your girl has to park far away from her dorm or home, always offer to drive her to and from your destination. She will appreciate how caring you are about her safety.

Remember to keep doing nice things for your girlfriend when you're around her. If she's carrying something, pick it up when she puts it down and always kindly let her know by saying "oh, let me get that for you", whatever the object is. Remember, being selfish is not attractive. If you are watching television with your girl and you know she likes a particular show or sporting event, leave it there. She will appreciate that little bit of selflessness more than you know.

Show up with a card or a flower and not just for holidays. Expensive and showy doesn't matter, it's the effort. In fact, a rose, a little love note left on her pillow, or a heartfelt kiss will keep any girl happy for days.

If in love, be sure to tell her often that you love her and make it sound meaningful. Be open about yourself to her and share with one another, making sure you laugh and keep things upbeat. Don't be a stiff bore.

There are some things you shouldn't talk to girls about. These include how hot other girls are, or anything at all of that nature. If she's not into sports or video games, you can say a few things but then move on to something she's into. Girls tend to be more interested in books and music than in sports and video games, though there are plenty of exceptions to every rule. It's fine to talk about that stuff with your guy friends, but a gentleman doesn't do that.

Stand up for your girl. Don't go around punching everyone who looks at her sideways, but if anyone's giving her looks or unwanted advances, intervene. Put your arm around her shoulder and move yourselves away, or go to her and speak up for her. The physical contact reassures her and lets the aggressor know that he's got to deal with both of you.

Always have a straight posture (nobody likes a sloucher).

Do not talk down to women ever. It's ok to tease but being cruel is not the way to go. Teasing does not mean calling them vulgar words, however. No matter how joking your tone is, it hurts a woman when a so-called "gentleman" calls them a dirty word.

Avoid fighting, as it isn't the best way to solve problems, however a real gentleman never backs off when he's challenged, always standing up for himself and his values. Remember to prioritize and not sacrifice your values for someone who is clearly just picking a fight with whomever will join in. If someone is simply embarrassing himself by offending you, don't sink to his level, but walk away.

If you do decide to fight, keep the straight posture, even if your rival is taller than you. Be reasonable, never use weapons, such as guns, knives and the like, as this kind of "chivalry" is from the old days and might end up seriously damaging you. And never, never fight in/against a group, for a gentleman only duels, do not try to be Chuck Norris. If your opponent is down, that means you made your point and it's time to stop fighting. Offer him a hand to get up, always expecting a bad reaction, as he might not have the same values as you have.

When walking on the sidewalk or on the side of the road, gentlemen should walk on the outside(closer to the road), whereas the lady should be on the inside, protected from oncoming traffic.

[moidoid]

"In public, don't: fart, belch, speak too loudly, be overly demanding/offensive, or drink heavily. A gentleman is always in control of himself, body and mind."

I'm guessing you didn't write this T?

[moidoid]

Having the right to beat my servants & get away with it,,,,,,

Ah, Lord Lucan, THERE you are...

[JOAO LA PEZ]

Crowborough must be a lot more "Genteel" than i remember from my time working there.

[monkey66]

Good hygiene is a must. Don't just use a bar of soap, but do scrub yourself. Make sure ears have no wax in them and that privates and facial hair are clean and at least trimmed nicely. When applying deodorant or cologne, don't use a lot. Also, make sure you don't use too much hair gel (it's sticky).

Pay attention to how you look. Wear clothes that fit your body well, eliminate flashy clothing and avoid fashion "faux pas" (i.e. baseball hats cocked slightly to the side). A simpler wardrobe will keep the emphasis on you, not your clothes, which will change your outlook. Get regular haircuts.

A true gentleman is polite to everyone, in action and words. Always be aware of how you can help people. Wait an extra few seconds to hold the door for the person behind you. Offer to help an old or pregnant person get their grocery bags to the car. You don't have to be paranoid or risk killing yourself (i.e if you've got a precarious grip on something heavy, don't open the door for someone) but respect is paramount. Even if someone is being stupid, be polite and respectful.

Be prepared to ask questions or make statements of courtesy, like "may I help you?", or "let me get that for you", or "I'll take care of that".

Don't swear. Ever. Don't speak of vulgar matter. If it's too difficult to stop cursing all-together, tone it down a lot.

Don't stare at and ogle women or say anything degrading to or about them.

In public, don't: fart, belch, speak too loudly, be overly demanding/offensive, or drink heavily. A gentleman is always in control of himself, body and mind.

Give girls a little extra respect. Don't be obsequious, but neofeminism has kind of gotten rid of some basic politeness that they'll appreciate, such as opening car/building doors, etc. Don't put every girl on a pedestal (we're all human), but they'll really appreciate it if you do them favors, like giving up your seat on the bus even though they're not carrying anything heavy.

Don't talk about yourself much. On the other hand, girls like to know a little bit about you so they can understand what you are talking about sometimes. In addition to making you a much more desirable conversationalist, it will make you seem more mysterious to not share too much, which many women find attractive. Get a basic idea of what's going on in music, sports, and politics.

Learn to either avoid politics and religion until you know someone better, and learn how to be neutral if someone else brings it up. A simple shrug will do wonders. A gentleman doesn't make other people uncomfortable.

Pay attention to the fact that the world is more threatening for girls: they're automatically targets at night or in bad neighborhoods. Walk her to her door (or car) if at all possible. It doesn't matter how strong she actually is, if you're a girl people will go at you first, whereas by virtue of being male you're safer. If your girl has to park far away from her dorm or home, always offer to drive her to and from your destination. She will appreciate how caring you are about her safety.

Remember to keep doing nice things for your girlfriend when you're around her. If she's carrying something, pick it up when she puts it down and always kindly let her know by saying "oh, let me get that for you", whatever the object is. Remember, being selfish is not attractive. If you are watching television with your girl and you know she likes a particular show or sporting event, leave it there. She will appreciate that little bit of selflessness more than you know.

Show up with a card or a flower and not just for holidays. Expensive and showy doesn't matter, it's the effort. In fact, a rose, a little love note left on her pillow, or a heartfelt kiss will keep any girl happy for days.

If in love, be sure to tell her often that you love her and make it sound meaningful. Be open about yourself to her and share with one another, making sure you laugh and keep things upbeat. Don't be a stiff bore.

There are some things you shouldn't talk to girls about. These include how hot other girls are, or anything at all of that nature. If she's not into sports or video games, you can say a few things but then move on to something she's into. Girls tend to be more interested in books and music than in sports and video games, though there are plenty of exceptions to every rule. It's fine to talk about that stuff with your guy friends, but a gentleman doesn't do that.

Stand up for your girl. Don't go around punching everyone who looks at her sideways, but if anyone's giving her looks or unwanted advances, intervene. Put your arm around her shoulder and move yourselves away, or go to her and speak up for her. The physical contact reassures her and lets the aggressor know that he's got to deal with both of you.

Always have a straight posture (nobody likes a sloucher).

Do not talk down to women ever. It's ok to tease but being cruel is not the way to go. Teasing does not mean calling them vulgar words, however. No matter how joking your tone is, it hurts a woman when a so-called "gentleman" calls them a dirty word.

Avoid fighting, as it isn't the best way to solve problems, however a real gentleman never backs off when he's challenged, always standing up for himself and his values. Remember to prioritize and not sacrifice your values for someone who is clearly just picking a fight with whomever will join in. If someone is simply embarrassing himself by offending you, don't sink to his level, but walk away.

If you do decide to fight, keep the straight posture, even if your rival is taller than you. Be reasonable, never use weapons, such as guns, knives and the like, as this kind of "chivalry" is from the old days and might end up seriously damaging you. And never, never fight in/against a group, for a gentleman only duels, do not try to be Chuck Norris. If your opponent is down, that means you made your point and it's time to stop fighting. Offer him a hand to get up, always expecting a bad reaction, as he might not have the same values as you have.

When walking on the sidewalk or on the side of the road, gentlemen should walk on the outside(closer to the road), whereas the lady should be on the inside, protected from oncoming traffic.

Copy and paste is a wonderful thing (make sure you don't use too much (it's sticky) .