Art House

[Robusto]

It is good to listen to the young.

[Boss Hog]

Ballad Of The Lock Jaw Stogie

BJO 06.04.09

Good stuff, Looks like you took Deano's advice!

[Stevieboy]

I am currently recording karaoke tracks for a big karaoke company. Girls Aloud, Estelle, Katy Perry, The Pussycat Dolls and Rianna.

There is no Art in this studio this week.

If any of you had even the slightest compassion for me you'd kill me!

(I'm not actually genuinely inviting attempts on my life, I know what "internet folk" can be like, its all metaphorical!)

D

Drew - you poor, poor bastard!! You must be going

Sorry dude

[Drewmidorn]

I am currently recording karaoke tracks for a big karaoke company. Girls Aloud, Estelle, Katy Perry, The Pussycat Dolls and Rianna.

There is no Art in this studio this week.

If any of you had even the slightest compassion for me you'd kill me!

(I'm not actually genuinely inviting attempts on my life, I know what "internet folk" can be like, its all metaphorical!)

D

[Robusto]

Ballad Of The Lock Jaw Stogie

Ballad Of The Lock Jaw Stogie

Sometimes when the day seems long
I take a stick that's good and strong
And sulfurize the foot all hot and grey
I blow the end in little circles
Suck it strong and see those turtle
Heads that stopped me having fun today

The old man driver braking harshly
Dodgy tractor full of parsley
Sage Rosemary and Thyme are in the back
Bobbing up and down and waving
Watching my cigar that's shaking
Up their high-pitched vocals for some craic

And as I toke my lights start shining
Praise The Lord for Cuban cutting
Dark tobacco snipped in little domes
Sexy whiff of stogie climbing
Up my nostrils deep inside me
Up again into the clouds alone

So sing your songs to Jesus sweetly
Montecristo Nub Cohiba
Bolivar Partagas Praise The Lord
Smoke the smoke that takes you daily
Past the drudge and tosh completely
Fly the clouds above Havana Road

I know sticks that make you horny
I know sticks that sleep you soundly
Smoke your stogie slowly over hours
No Castellas, no tinned Hamlets
Panamas or Cafe Creme-lettes
Ride a stick that takes you to the stars

Smoke on mountains, smoke in churchyards
Smoke at stations, supermarkets
Pubs and clubs and brothels if you wish
Puff on benches, puff on buses
Blow it out and drop the ashes
On the ground or in a petrie dish

Smoke on while you're double-glazing
Spreading shingle, soixante-neufing
Though you might get lockjaw with the latter
Puff away to Jackson Browne
Lorna Luft or Elton John
(Yes - Elton loved Malc Allison's stogie patter)

And when you tot up pros and cons
Remember that you can't go wrong
With smoking as another love affair
Leave the bottle and don't get pissed
Never take one off the wrist
Cigars are hot so blow them out to share!


BJO 06.04.09

[Robusto]

So what's this about, then?...

SEEMINGLY ENDLESS SCREEN REPEAT

would you rub shoulders
with a psycho in a bar
in a car park or a lift-shaft
or a poundland
would you tell your life
to a cokehead on a train
in a churchyard or a coach
in an arboretum
would you reveal all
to a fascinating gal
with your image on her tee shirt
dancing there always
would you large it up
with a cv made of charcoal
a back story from a publicist's wet dream
on seemingly endless screen repeat

would you read a letter
to a nutcase in a shop
on a Virgin 777
or by a car wash
would you type your pain
to a florist in your town
a lute maker or guide
on a pier
would you confess all
to a vicar in a cassock
by a scratching font
over a bald kiddie's head
would you make it up
on a brain trainer screen
on the back seat of a car
on seemingly endless screen repeat


BJO Jan09

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[Stevieboy]

Good stuff, but I recommend you bang one off before writing again hehe

ROFLMAO!!! GENIUS!!

[nicwing]

Bryan's a method lyricist.

Please can we have more daisy duke pictures!

[Robusto]

Marvin Gaye never recorded a vocal unless he'd flown into a bishop's rage.

[Boss Hog]

Lyrics for a Country song.
It's about Country girls, heat and sex.

---

Blimey!
Moist apples, Milk bursting everywhere, Siamese pussy & Daisy Duke(s). I can see the inspiration and where the apples idea came from, although I would have used "abandoned puppies fighting within the softness of a pillowcase"
All it needs is "a pickup truck, a dusty highway" and you'll have Willie Nelson banging your door down.

Cracking stuff. Spot on Deano.

[Deano]

Good stuff, but I recommend you bang one off before writing again hehe

[rokkitsci]

Love the lyrics, Robusto!

Sensual, descriptive, emotive.

Only, but... what the hell is a "droveway?" Is that a driveway that someone pilfered?

[Robusto]

Lyrics for a Country song.
It's about Country girls, heat and sex.

DOWN WHERE THE DROVEWAY TURNS TO ASHES

Carlene's popping midget pills
Down where the droveway turns to ashes
She sighs a tired moist apples-tight chest
And leans back with some barley grass in her mouth

She wears cowboy cheque tops
And white trousers from the mall
She drinks her soda by licking out
The corner of her mouth at each freezing shot

She's turning like a Siamese pussy
From left to centre to right with a grind
Her sighs come haunting over the side of the pick-up
As she runs her thumbs through my Brylcream


This is the night we sleep by the lake
Chasing fur fast and milling bone and flesh pummel-hard
This is the night the milk flows freely
Milk-burst on a here there and wherever
(It gets everywhere)


This is the night we free desire
We desire to be free, higher
Hire me a blanket by an orange fire
Blot it out with fat black shadows


Of body towers and chest hills and pelvic fountains
Covered by grass and each other's palms
Making firm movements to frighten moles to death
Making sounds of fire sparks


Sparking flames in mirrored Siamese pussy eyes
Sparking flames in mirrored Siamese pussy eyes

BJO Jan 09

---

[Deano]

Shut it Coro

Names Deano, Deano Deano, and he likes telling TJCoro to shut it

[TJCoro]

Look out! Here comes the post patrol!

Senor Deano,

Are you a traffic cop?

If not, you should be. You'd make a great one!

Names TJ, TJCoro, and I guess every fourm has one.