Separation

[Simon Bolivar]

This thread just backs up my premise that whilst there is nothing better than a good marriage there's nothing worse than a bad one. Luckily for me I have been married for 28yrs, this year & our daughter is 26yo & chose to live in the UK, whilst we still live in Belgium.
I can't say after the couple of bliss yes, that we have had an 'easy' one since & whilst I always swore I would never leave or divorce my wife, if the other party gives up & calls in the lawyers, there's little you can do these days, especially if there refuse to go to counselling. I do believe mediation is compulsory now before a divorce in the UK.
Concentrate on maintaining the best relationship you can with you daughters & ensuring the best access to them. When they grow up they will make their own minds up & hopefully still want you in their lives. Avoid neg comments against their mother, although this will be hard.
Look after your our mental well being & sadly getting in touch with lawyer of your own is probably advisable. You can attend Relate on your own & this may help you come to terms with the situation.
Most of all, keep in touch with us on here, we'll be looking out for you?

[mrnutt]

Just reading this and Ive just been hit with the same thing from my wife.. life currently sucks big time

[moteyi]

I'm really sorry to hear that Dave. Look after yourself.

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[grumpybaldy]

All the best Dave.

[mrnutt]

thanks chaps, its hard but we are going to separate and live apart for a while (still a huge ball ache to uproot my life) but over the last few days I have realised we both need this not just her and if we are to work out down the line then this probably is needed now.

I am still working my mind on the basis that thats it its over and now I need to look after me for a bit and work on me for a bit.

I hope everyone else dealing with this at the moment stays strong and can work things out

[PeeJay]

thanks chaps, its hard but we are going to separate and live apart for a while (still a huge ball ache to uproot my life) but over the last few days I have realised we both need this not just her and if we are to work out down the line then this probably is needed now.

I am still working my mind on the basis that thats it its over and now I need to look after me for a bit and work on me for a bit.

I hope everyone else dealing with this at the moment stays strong and can work things out

Just remember Ross and Rachel if you have any desire to get back together

[Kickback]

Things just got worse.
After a valentines day where everything was my side with no effort from her, putting us back on shaky ground. Her mum suddenly died. Mental health shot to pieces.
Such a bad year so far.

[ha_banos]

Oh blimey. When it rains it pours. Hope you can weather the storm and it passes quickly now.

[mrnutt]

Things just got worse.
After a valentines day where everything was my side with no effort from her, putting us back on shaky ground. Her mum suddenly died. Mental health shot to pieces.
Such a bad year so far.

i can really sympathise with this, my wife lost an auntie in early Jan and a family friend is on the very edge with Kidney failure. Fingers crossed for you [MENTION=13469242]Kickback[/MENTION]

As for the Ross and Rachel idea, this is a possibility - we met to chat over the weekend and we are both on the same page about things which is good and there is still love there but that time apart is what she needs now and on relfection I need as well.

Started the new home hunt this week and have an offer in on a flat locally as she wants me to stay nearby and I think staying nearby is worth it with work etc.

Its all pretty shit and i'm losing everything but I can make it through and i'm lucky to have amazing friends and family and also forums like this - the power of cigars is an amazing thing

[grumpybaldy]

Sounds like a herf's in order...

[mrnutt]

well it looks like I have found a new place to live....now to get through London referencing which is looking a total ball ache

[Simon Bolivar]

London referencing?

[mrnutt]

Seemingly the agents here don't care about guarantors and outside money, only what you earn... makes things quite hard

[Kickback]

All people care about in London is money.

[mrnutt]

All people care about in London is money.

Seemingly so, but through some work, we've got the landlord to agree to everything we wanted so this is a good move in the right direction, won't believe it until I have a signed contract mind