From my outbursts on the hoyo thread, I realised we need to talk, we need to talk US cigar sites. Now any Americans on here, we love you okay so don't start flag-waving shouting "we saved your ass God-dammit!!" ...wait friend, be still, be informed. The issue here is the huge number of idiots on cigar sites (sadly yes American in the whole) largely because you guys fill the interwebs with your guff, which is fine, and we Brits still use wood and blue child slave technology, although now brown - it seems only the Aussie are getting it somewhat right, but I shall savage them another day - for now we give thanks that the internet is the biggest bottomless landfill in the universe and can absorb this trash. However it may, I cannot. There are only so many cigar sites and they're starting to back-up; nay spew over and vomit streams of 23 year old bloggers grunting under their vastly sticky bulk, the creepy loners, the inept, the awkward, the escapee, the truly unemployable, throwing out four to five letter descriptive adjectives like "nice" and "tasty", many bearing shameful neck beards and gangster baseball caps, sucking on mega-fat, mega-strong, new world cigars (the stronger the better right bro?) unable to to even spell the country from where it hails let alone be able to point to it on a map forcing me to address this overspill of inarticulate, unqualified, crushingly sad basement-dwellers, enjoy:

(Note, further evidence, due to these morons retardedly rude and over ambitious advertising on their videos please click a youtube video scattered among the others while their 29 second ads pass and die)

First up Teenage gold, "barnyard" (that's chicken sh*t right?)

His big brother "The One" shamelessly plugging of some mega tent we ain't going to (probably for his butt).

Death in a chair "Captain Charisma" and yes don't forget to wipe

Your fave "The Hardcore Gay Guy" - sift through his channel its all gold all strange

Ah yes Death Metal - we all love death metal right with a cigar yes? Right? Death Metal they go together yes?

Smoking Hot Chick. She likes to be taken care of and ballet, she be sopistomicated innit?

Her mother demonstrating her evening skills

Her husband

And of course these guys (whom I curiously like) giving everything a 9 or a 10 out of 10 - genius.

American are you still here, amirite or wrong? Listen gimme Dave Savona and Gordon Mott all day long; yes a little dull, little staged, little meh, but at least you know that they know what they are talking about. Now I didn't try hard at all here friends, since we are all awash with fail cigar review videos but please please do not rest here, please post up your own special all time fail youtube or site videos below.