Wow, how many views!!!! thanks for the comments guys, i suppose its not really surprising how many people get into similar situations really but for me i always looked around and just thought 'im doing it alone',
I havnt really done anything special to help me just something different to what i always had done before,
I now eat 3 meals a day , i never made time for breakfast not even a slice of toast etc but now just something simple like 2 weetabix is a must
For lunch i would have either soup ( with a slice of bread), a simple sandwich ( ham n lettuce etc) or a portion of leftovers ( curry, pasta etc)
For evening meal it will be a decent dinner - as we give our baby homemade food then we would often have a chicken in the oven or a casserole/ stew type dish in the oven if me n sandra are at work

so nothing expensive or too fluffy, will use frozen veg bunged in the steamer to go with the meal if time is of the essence, i will still make a shepherds pie etc BUT the 2 biggest things that have changed are 1: portion sizes, 2: 'healthier cooking methods'
look im a big man who likes food - i have simple tastes, not very cosmopolitan with my menu choices just wholesome food, i cook 50% of the time as-well not just the mrs but the sheer amount of food on my plates was colossal ( and lovverrrly!) but had to stop - no wonder i wasn't burning it off i ate enough for 5 people! we bought a couple of new dinner plates, just slightly smaller nothing fancy and an ice cream scoop, only 3 scoops of mash now!
takes some getting used to i can tell you but my god what a difference! i dont feel bloated anymore, i can pull my ass of the sofa to do things just because i dont have irelands potato reserves in my belly. Flora light, spray oil, semi-skimmed milk, wholegrain bread again nothing huge but nothing i eat is now swimming in lard etc - my bllod pressure is spot on and my cholestorol has dropped form 7.8 to 5.3 ( not quite there yet)

to aid me getting used to this new eating regime i have 2 snack times during the day, mid morn and mid afternoon - nothing strange there but i will hav esomething simple like a banana or a can of tuna ( or sometimes both) i may even go all out and have a slice of toast and beans ( 3 tbsp only) - last night i ordered a chinese ( boiled not fried rice with my prawn curry) and do you know what it dosnt matter its just about not stressing over it and having balance ( i wont have another take away till next week)
so readers if you are somewhere similar - simple food habit changes will make such a difference

by making these changes to my food intake my weekly shopping bill ( and takeaway bill) has halved literally, ( good job because new clothes that fit arent cheap) and i know have an extra 25 per week that goes purely to my stogie fund ( the rest goes to sandra to keep it fair and she deserves it too) - not alot but it has paid for my humi and my smokes thus far so im delighted with my small victories in that sense.
Now as for excercise......i bought a push bike ( come on Prince) i used to cycle everywhere as a kid ( didnt we all) i even got into light mountain biking when in the navy, now i cycle to work 3 days a week ( have to use car other days as i have school runs to do) now i only work 15 mins away from the house but its 30 mins exercise i never used to get 3 days a week, i take dogs for an hour or so forrest walk once a week aswell and saved myself a tenner petrol per week...so far thats basically it!

ive dropped form a 46" waist jeans to a 38" ( bought some from next yesterday - yes a high street store) my work tops are now an xl not a xxxl, although most places im trying i still need a xxl but i do own 3 xl t shirts, now these maybe not great things but to me show what simple steps can really do, no fad diets nothing stupid just stuff we are taught by mams and dads years ago before the marketing giants at coke cola and burger king got to us.
dont get me wrong it hasnt all been plain sailing i just no longer beat myself up over things and i know its now getting harder aswell,. My body has lost the initial fluids and bloatedness so its getting harder to make the weightloss that i have so far but i just make small decisions and stick with the basic plan.

anyone else doing similar? im lucky that i dont currently have the stress of finding work etc on my head, i cross my fingers and touch wood everyday because i know i would find that hard so my thoughts go out to all of you that do.
next step - i bought some simple dumbells, time to prevent too much sagging, sit ups noooo..............