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  • #46
    Originally posted by Wigan View Post
    When studying I had to do a presentation. The lecturer (Bob Gold) told us to start with a quote. My first slide read:

    "You need to put a quote on here" Bob Gold



    Would love to say the story had a happy ending, that he was impressed and thought it was clever. But no. I lost marks for it.


    "Quitting smoking is easy, I do it all the time" and " I can resist anything except temptation" both Oscar Wilde

    "If porn was bad why does it have so many nuns in it?" Greg House (House M.D.)
    Really loved this one...Made me snort my coffee at work Wigan!!

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    • #47
      Originally posted by Ross.Co View Post
      “Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.”

      Sir Winston Churchill
      A quote which both amused me and made me think. Well done Ross.

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      • #48
        Originally posted by ValeTudoGuy View Post
        The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

        Ezekiel 25:17.... Or Pulp Fiction.... Whatever floats your boat.

        Ezekiel 25:17

        If you actually read what is said, it goes very, very deep. I am an outright atheist. Interpretation, as with most things when a gathering of a book is over 2000 years old in places.

        Pulp Fiction = Samuel L Jackson giving the best delivery of a sermon, ever.

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        • #49
          With being an atheist, and with my Religious Studies teaching us knew I thought it was blowing hot air up my kilt (yes I own one...) he said this to me, which to this day I will never forget;

          ''Ross, look at all religions. keep an open mind to those around you that may have faith in something you can not see or feel. It is not about being 'right', it is about being the best you can be. Rather than following a religion, you are in a position to take what is best from any religion. Always look to further yourself and show compassion, understanding and tolerance. ''(My teacher S. Fields)

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          • #50
            When you once see something as false which you have accepted as true, as natural, as human, then you can never go back to it. Jiddu Krishnamurti

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            • #51
              “You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.”

              Winston S. Churchill

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              • #52
                Before you criticise someone always walk a mile in their shoes .... that way you'll be a mile away and they won't have any shoes!
                'Cigars are a hobby, cigarettes an addiction'

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                • #53
                  Originally posted by PeeJay View Post
                  Before you criticise someone always walk a mile in their shoes .... that way you'll be a mile away and they won't have any shoes!
                  Gaffaw

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                  • #54
                    I never smoke to excess - that is, I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.
                    Mark Twain

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                    • #55
                      'Not all those who wander are lost'
                      J.R.R. Tolkein

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                      • #56
                        Sometimes in our lives
                        We all have pain
                        We all have sorrow
                        But if we are wise
                        We know that there's always tomorrow

                        Lean on me, when you're not strong
                        And I'll be your friend
                        I'll help you carry on
                        For it won't be long
                        'Til I'm gonna need
                        Somebody to lean on


                        Please swallow your pride
                        If I have things you need to borrow
                        For no one can fill those of your needs
                        That you won't let show

                        You just call on me brother, when you need a hand
                        We all need somebody to lean on
                        I just might have a problem that you'd understand
                        We all need somebody to lean on


                        If there is a load you have to bear
                        That you can't carry
                        I'm right up the road
                        I'll share your load
                        If you just call me

                        ---

                        Bill Withers


                        (Yeah yeah, it's a whole song..... But it's a pretty nice sentiment.... Don't ya think?)

                        Edit: P.S. Don't suffer in silence guys, we all have troubles and we can be there for each other. Sometimes a person we hardly know at the other end of the Internet can be the perfect person to vent to.
                        Licky Licky before Sticky Sticky. - Puff Scotty 22/03/14

                        Originally posted by PeeJay
                        I get longing looks from guys walking past

                        Originally posted by butternutsquashpie
                        A purge follows a rapid puffing session.

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                        • #57
                          God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.

                          Rudyard Kipling.

                          If


                          IF you can keep your head when all about you
                          Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
                          If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
                          But make allowance for their doubting too;
                          If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
                          Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
                          Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
                          And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

                          If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
                          If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
                          If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
                          And treat those two impostors just the same;
                          If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
                          Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
                          Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
                          And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

                          If you can make one heap of all your winnings
                          And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
                          And lose, and start again at your beginnings
                          And never breathe a word about your loss;
                          If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
                          To serve your turn long after they are gone,
                          And so hold on when there is nothing in you
                          Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

                          If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
                          ' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
                          if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
                          If all men count with you, but none too much;
                          If you can fill the unforgiving minute
                          With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
                          Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
                          And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!



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                          • #59
                            Life is like rowing a boat ... You can only see what's behind you .

                            derrek
                            tourists bring home souvenirs ... explorers bring home stories .

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                            • #60
                              on the back of a drainage contractors van

                              " always in the sh1t , only the depth varies "
                              MAKE MINE A CUBAN

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