Dog House of the year

[grumpybaldy]

So, as we enter the last month of the year - and, as you'll shortly see, prompted by my triumph of last week - a suggestion for another pre-Christmas competition; no prize save for the honour and satisfaction of being the recipient of the keys of the Dog House of the Year for the biggest embarrassment, cock-up, faux pas etc (cigar-related or not) which has, typically, led to the serious dis-chuffness of 'other halves' and serious attemots to remedy! Higher scores for big paybacks (in whatever form) to get back in favour; highest scores for the longest time spent out of favour despite all attempts to get back in. It's like the 'sad story' dinner party scene from Love Actually but without the brownie (unless someone wants to contribute one!). We could have a vote on the winner before Christmas. Anyway, to my 'pitch' for the keys:

Background: first real holiday of this year for my hard-working wife and I. A week in Sicily arranged; flights bought and paid for; widely-recommended good hotel booked for five nights;the usual pre-reading of dozens of guides etc by her in run-up, ranging from food and wine to historical sights; her whole extended family fully aware by now - thanks to WhatsApp - of her excitement. By Saturday morning (for a Sunday afternoon flight) all her packing is done. Crucially - and most damning - any number of reminders delivered to me in preceding two weeks to check I have my passport.

'Dog House event': yes, I lost my passport.

Immediate effect: Big lump of airmiles and cash element of Business Class flights lost, along with first night in hotel. However, to her credit, my wife is remarkably understanding -'worse things happen' (this would not have been my reaction!). WhatsApp comments from her siblings advising her to 'milk it'. Sense of foreboding (me).

Reparation: quick booking of best hotel I could find in St Ives (never been there before - great) and train next day (although not first class) - excellent (and necessarily expensive - we are talking about survival here o my part) meals through week, and the purchase of two or three (admittedly reasonably priced) pieces of locally-made silver jewellery. Finally, I have still to endure a lunch with two of her siblings tomorrow when I'm sure this will prove to be a topic of conversation (and ridicule) still!

Upshot: Remarkably (and, in truth, due to my wife behaving in a way I hope I would have done, but doubt!), I think I got off lightly. Which probably means I won't win the keys to the DH of the year! There must be better stories out there (perhaps cigar related) for which some of you guys must still be paying - let's hear them!

[Kickback]

I just do what I'm told and turn up where needed. It's the best way I've found.

[Moley]

I did some hard landscaping this year with my garden which had 2 layers and my wifes prized rose boarder.

Needless to say she had a shock when she turn up and these were in the skip and then the mess of garden after we went to town eith a mini digger lol

I was forgiven after I did such an excellent job( and diving in the dkip to retrieve these)

I also got in trouble for 'abandoning' my wife after our little one was born cuz i was tired and headed back home while leaving my wife in hospital after giving birth to look after the little one for several hours


Those are mybtop picks but thered a lot more i could add lol

[K444HEP]

I'd participate, but I'm afraid of what might happen if she sees it...

[moteyi]

I'd rather not tempt fate with 5 weeks of the year left to go, but thus far I've managed to stay out of the dog house and even earn a few brownie points along the way, which have allowed me to indulge a little in this hobby.

[Rich B]

Four weeks ago I was racing in a 24hr race at Spa in Belgium. The highlight of our motorsport year and the second to last race of a long season. The two days after the race there was a two day track day at the circuit, so it made sense to load the race truck up and stay and do some testing afterwards. This essentially made it a week long trip, seeing as it was half term my wife decided to take our son away for a week so they could have a break and recharge their batteries in Tenerife.

In a 24hr race we share the car between four drivers and I was fourth in the rotation, ready to do a double night stint (I really enjoy racing at night). 45 mins into my first stint I hit a stationary car that had spun at just under 100mph. The car was destroyed, our race over in just nine hours. The impact was enough to put me in hospital and on Sunday morning I rang my wife, rather than Facetime as we'd done every day, and fessed up that I was in hospital, quite badly hurt. I dissuaded her from cutting her holiday short and told her I was fine.

Our team manager drove me home from Belgium to Gloucestershire as I was in no fit state to drive once I was discharged from hospital. I had five days at home (as we'd come home early) to recover a little before my wife got home. She was rather shocked at how much I had downplayed my injuries.

Our last race of the year was a couple of weeks ago, a 12 hour endurance race. I did not want to finish the year on a crash, it would weigh heavily on my mind all winter. We had a conversation where she said she'd rather I did not race, but would understand if I wanted to. I took that as a green light to go, in reality she did not want me to go at all.

The day I was due to go, I got the cold shoulder all day. Mono syllabic answers and generally being ignored. As my race kit was assembled in the hallway this got worse and I left the house to go to the workshop with no goodbye kiss, no good wishes, nothing, zip.

I got to the workshop, was worried about how I'd feel in a car given the injuries to my chest (suspected cracked bone in my sternum amongst other things), I sat in and put the harnesses on and knew I was in no fit state to drive, so reluctantly withdrew from the race. I called home, fessed up and was removed from the dog house when I got home.

We have been together for eight years, and I was married previously for eight years. You think I'd have learnt by now...

[ha_banos]

Nice. Glad you're ok!

This reminds me of something much less but...

I'm a complete amateur who rides a motorcycle and goes on the odd track day. Needless to say even after a day at the Ron Haslam race school, day at the California Superbike school, handful of previous track days with instruction Im still no racer! But this doesn't stop me enjoying novice track days.

One day a couple of work colleagues and I had booked an afternoon track day session at Brands Hatch. So after a morning at work we got kitted up in our onesie leathers and headed out. Track was only half hour from work.

The excitement built and I think it was the first session of the afternoon I was (in my mind) zooming around the track. Of course prior to going out everyone is briefed about safety, the layout and reminded is not a race and to have fun.

All I can remember is heading towards the hairpin and seeing the turn in marker. I glance down at the Speedo and it's reading 100. I remember grabbing a handful of brake...

Next thing I remember is a momentary glimpse of a bunch of faces around me and my neck being put in a brace. Then being cut out of my leathers (nice Wolf kangaroo set!) Then being put into a cat scan machine. Then my wife crying at the foot of my hospital bed...

Fortunately it was only some concussion and a broken collar bone. But it was 2 days before her birthday .. oops!

The bike was ok. My friend rode it back the next day. Just a broken lever and a load of scratches.

This was about 6 years ago. I'm reminded of it everytime I mention track day. And comes up almost every birthday

[gojira]

Nice. Glad you're ok!

This reminds me of something much less but...

I'm a complete amateur who rides a motorcycle and goes on the odd track day. Needless to say even after a day at the Ron Haslam race school, day at the California Superbike school, handful of previous track days with instruction Im still no racer! But this doesn't stop me enjoying novice track days.

One day a couple of work colleagues and I had booked an afternoon track day session at Brands Hatch. So after a morning at work we got kitted up in our onesie leathers and headed out. Track was only half hour from work.

The excitement built and I think it was the first session of the afternoon I was (in my mind) zooming around the track. Of course prior to going out everyone is briefed about safety, the layout and reminded is not a race and to have fun.

All I can remember is heading towards the hairpin and seeing the turn in marker. I glance down at the Speedo and it's reading 100. I remember grabbing a handful of brake...

Next thing I remember is a momentary glimpse of a bunch of faces around me and my neck being put in a brace. Then being cut out of my leathers (nice Wolf kangaroo set!) Then being put into a cat scan machine. Then my wife crying at the foot of my hospital bed...

Fortunately it was only some concussion and a broken collar bone. But it was 2 days before her birthday .. oops!

The bike was ok. My friend rode it back the next day. Just a broken lever and a load of scratches.

This was about 6 years ago. I'm reminded of it everytime I mention track day. And comes up almost every birthday

Well, I have a bike story as well. A couple of years ago I did a trip on a 125 CC scooter through Laos. I have to say that I don't have a licence to drive anything, not even a car.

They rent those things to anybody who is willing to pay in SE Asia. So, one day I was riding from Champasak to the 4000 islands. I asked the hotel owner at the place I stayed if she knew a difficult road to the 4000 islands and she stared at me like I was some alien that had just landed in front of her in a flying saucer. "Why don't you take the highway" she went and I answered that I wanted some adventure. She told me to stay on this side of the Mekong and that there were a lot of small roads, just go down south.

So I went down south, I started driving a dirt road along the Mekong but had to turn back after a few miles because the mud was to deep, so I drove some other roads for hours, completely lost myself, luckily found a gas station in the middle of nowhere because I was running low on fuel.The guy there didn't speak anything except Lao and he pointed me in some direction. Well I ended up at the Thai border, which wasn't at all the where I wanted to go. Police or military directed me into the right direction, I crossed the Mekong on a big homemade ferry and took the highway which I didn't wanted to take to the 4000 islands.

I arrived in a small village and was looking for a ferry to take me to Don Det. I talked to guy who was willing to take me over there on a tiny boat with just enough space for the both of us and the 125 CC. So he put up a small wooden plank he told me to drive it up and onto the boat. All around us were some villagers bathing in the river, mainly women and kids. Please keep in mind that I don't know much when it comes to bike driving and have of course never driven up a plank that wasn't much larger than a Monte A is long. So I started driving into the direction of the plank from the beach, needless to say that I didn't have enough speed, the 125 CC stopped dead in the middle of the plank and I fell with it and all my stuff into the Mekong river.

Everybody was laughing at me but the ferry guy jumped after me and saved the 125 CC from dying in the water. Needless to say that I asked the ferry guy to drive the bike up into his tiny boat when I took the Ferry back.

[ha_banos]

Nice photos well done. Sounds like an adventure .. and without the dog house! Lol

[moteyi]

I wonder how many of us have a motorbike story in their past? I have a fairly epic one but it needs a keyboard rather than 1 finger on the phone!

Sent from my SM-G900F using Tapatalk

[gojira]

Nice photos well done. Sounds like an adventure .. and without the dog house! Lol

Cheers. So what's dog house supposed to mean. Please explain to the dumb foreigner that I am.

[ha_banos]

Cheers. So what's dog house supposed to mean. Please explain to the dumb foreigner that I am.

Lol. I thought this might be the case. Means you've really fcuked up in the eyes of the trouble and strife and you are being punished for it! (https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/de...ble_and_strife)

[gojira]

Lol. I thought this might be the case. Means you've really fcuked up in the eyes of the trouble and strife and you are being punished for it! (https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/de...ble_and_strife)

Thank you for clearing that up! One learns something new everyday.

And punishment was having two dozen naked kids making fun of me......