Separation

[mrnutt]

Sorry to hear that things haven't worked out Kickback, also sounds like you've been the one who's been putting all the legwork in for trying to work things out, which does make you wonder why you bother at the end of it - and thats me talking from my recent experience.

Fully understand you not wanting to disturb your daughters exams, once those are done make sure you then look after you, give yourself some time to do all the things you've been wanting to do but not been able to recently.

I wish you the best of luck with the likely unfortunate impending storm and don't forget who you are during the process, I know that sounds wanky but i've tried to stick to that principle for the last few months and it's made me feel a bit better about myself in the situation.

Make sure you enjoy some you time with some decent sticks!

[Simon Bolivar]

Sad times indeed. Agree Kickback, wait until after your daughter's exam but ensure you seek proper legal advice first. If communication has broken down so badly already, things could get really nasty when she gets legal advice to use against you (& then sends you the bill!). You want to ensure full access, hopefully shared parenting i.e. equal time with you & you need to find somewhere with enough room for them to stay with you on their visits.

I would also wonder if someone else was involved, not wearing her ring might just mean she's given up on the marriage but it but be because she already has someone else in mind?

[smokey joe]

Sorry for your troubles. As has been said there?s light at the end of the tunnel. From my own perspective that light is a decree absolute due in 4 weeks.

[Kickback]

If I call it now my daughter will be impacted in her 11+
I couldn't forgive myself if she failed or gave up trying because she was upset at our break up. My daughter comes first especially if it's only a matter of months.
Then I'm sure I'll cut the relationship.

[oskihen]

If I were you I'd take control of the situation and kick her into touch. Kids will know it's all tits up and feel the bad vibes better for all to sort it asap and try and build some normality. But take your life back mate and stop letting her dangle you on a string

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[Kickback]

Update.
Back to square one. Wife very quickly made no efforts in getting our relationship back on track.
After a very expensive weeks holiday away with the kids (5* everything included) where I was effectively ignored all week, announced she wanted me to give her space again. Not willing to do anything about sorting the situation and not willing to make any decisions either way. Just limbo where only interaction is daily domestic.
Wedding ring etc are no longer worn though when challenged why, I got rage and denial that she wasn't wearing them (she hasn't worn them for 10 days including today).
My only reason for not ending the pain she's putting me through is my eldest is studying for her 11+ in a few months so I don't want to ruin her concentration or future chances of Grammar School.
Looks 99% sure I'll be ending it later this year though. I guess the positive is that I can then get cigars ordered to my new address whenever I like.

However, it's very sad and scary.

[Kickback]

Hi there Mr Nut.
Glad you are finding time fir yourself. You're the most important thing in your life, enjoy not being no2 or less.

[mrnutt]

Thank you everyone for your kind words.

The first week is down and enjoying being in my own space, the flat is much nicer than where I was before, realised it was my partner that made it home, not the actual place, but here on my own the place is what makes it home.

And tonight I felt in the right mindset for the first cigar, I went through the whole humidor and picked the fundadores, but realised I only have the one and really want to savour that so when for an Upmann No 2 tonight and I think that Fundadores might get bought out tomorrow night.... will see

Thanks again chaps and hope you all have a good weekend with some tasty sticks

[Simon Bolivar]

Mr Mutt, sorry things have gone that way but on the positive side, having a time consuming & relaxing hobby must help get you through the tough times. Sounds like you chose your flat well & have the perfect location to enjoy the spring, which is officially is Sprung tomorrow! Fundies are great cigars, the brother of the Lanceros, which I prefer but both have their day, enjoy!

[Vitola]

Glad you got your place sorted congratulations !
You go for it sir, and smoke the hell out of that Fundadore and savour every magical moment on your new path - enjoy!


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[mrnutt]

well i am now installed in my own flat, 6 weeks after my world collapsed around me, tables have flipped on my wife now, shes moved back into our old place with me and all my stuff gone. I have been angry, sad and everything in between I hope my partner who has been in the comfort of her family home for the last 6 weeks, now being on her own realises what we had and what i did for her.

But on a cigar related topic, my new flat is cooler temp wise inside which i think is better for the cigars and there's loads of lovely gardens to sit and smoke in when the weather gets good and I am opposite the royal park - bushy park so i've got some lovely cigar smoking spots and I will christen my new place this weekend with something special.

Got some fundadores stashed away so thinking one of those might hit the spot

[Simon Bolivar]

It really can work after a break, sometimes time reflecting on what she has to lose, makes the effort of working at it worth another go, good luck to both of you!

[ha_banos]

Just a quick update.
Wife signed off sick from work with stress. Since then she's had a complete change of heart over us having no future. We're trying to make a go of it. Starting to build our relationship again, early days but much better place than 1 month ago when it was 95% certain we were heading for divorce.

Seen this journey once before work out well.

Time apart and shock can take people out of their routine which can change perspective.

All the best.

[PeeJay]

Just a quick update.
Wife signed off sick from work with stress. Since then she's had a complete change of heart over us having no future. We're trying to make a go of it. Starting to build our relationship again, early days but much better place than 1 month ago when it was 95% certain we were heading for divorce.

Go for it, I hope it all works out.

[Kickback]

Just a quick update.
Wife signed off sick from work with stress. Since then she's had a complete change of heart over us having no future. We're trying to make a go of it. Starting to build our relationship again, early days but much better place than 1 month ago when it was 95% certain we were heading for divorce.